it’s good to have goals
New CV Office! from Josh Abramson on Vimeo.
I just watched that video. I found it, at the same time, both inspiring and a little depressing. It was inspiring because I want to have a job like the people at Connected Ventures (who handle CollegeHumor, Vimeo, BustedTees, etc) where I can go to work, be myself (a complete and utter screwball) and do work that I actually find appealing, unlike my current job. That office is beautiful. That city is beautiful. Those people obviously love their job, and who wouldn’t? They get to do all these insanely creative things, and obviously have a blast doing them, whether it’s a video for CH, a new tshirt idea, some great platform like Vimeo, etc. Ok, this is the jealousy talking now…
The reason I found it depressing is that I’m currently writing this blog from the toilet, I’m not wearing pants, and I had trouble dragging myself out of bed today because I hate my job. I feel that it’s a waste of my creative potential, and it sucks the time I need to develop my great ideas into great applications into some black hole of uncreativity. I realize that I don’t have a college degree in anything. It’s because of my commitment issues–I can’t decide what it is that I want to do. Another problem is that it costs a lot of money to go to school, and I’ve already messed up once. I don’t want to waste more money on something I’m going to puss out on in 3 months, or decide is another black hole to waste my time. Is this normal-speak for other 22 year olds? I know some that are starting their families or their “big-boy” jobs, where they get to be trapped in suits every day but “Casual Friday” where they get to be “free” and show that they are “fun-loving” and an office “community” by wearing their khakis and their company-logo polos. What the crap? I really hate the fact that because I’m “uneducated” (which = “unintelligent” on paper) I have to be stuck in a job that literally makes no sense for me to be in. It’s not taking me anywhere. It’s not doing anything for my resume. It’s not even worth it to think, “Oh, it’s just something to pay the bills.” (Because oh, wait…It DOESN’T.) I would have more fun catching..tuna..or cleaning portapotties…being a garbage collector..flossing shark’s teeth..than I’m having at my current job.
I still want to do the following things:
1. Own a record label.
2. Open a music publication.
3. Start a rescue for dogs or something.
4. Develop one of my great ideas, make a little money, and open a studio with it.
5. Be a commercial photographer.
6. Save the manatees.
7. Never grow up.
Music is one of the few things I actually feel passionate about. Next is photography, then writing, then animals, then… See, my interests are an endless list of possibilities but all of them have prerequisites. Did I miss my train? Am I doomed to walk the Earth as a piece of shit for the rest of my life? How do you get out of this slump/hole once you’ve fucked up enough that’s it’s as deep as you are and twice as wide? Fuck, man.
